Woof
I didnt know that this thing still existed, I doubt i'll be posting anything here anymore so there you go

Damn dog hair 

I need professional help, something is wrong with me 

October

Well it's almost the end of the month and I gotta say it's almost like it was last year where I don't have a job at the end of the month. It's ok though I shouldn't be like I was last year where I didn't have another job until March. I am decated to finding another job before the beginning of the year. I'm tired of being broke it's like the more I try the more bills start to pile up. So no more sitting around for me, I can't just let the jobs try and come to me I have to go out and find them myself 

Work

I guess I've made life harder than it. By letting my pride get in the way or being fearful of the unknown I've missed out on some choice opportunities. I gotta figure out how to get on the right track to stop flailing about and to put rubber to the road before it's too late. 

Birthday

You know as bad as I thought today was going to be it is turning out to be better than I expected 

Update

Things are starting to come together 

Still in the fight

I gotta say life has been extra tough for me as of late. I've been looking for jobs left and right but it seems like the jobs that I desire dont want to target me while the customer service jobs are chomping at the bit to get me to work for them. That's not what I want, I want to effectively use my accounting degree. I still don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm trying to change my life but it is hard. I hear everyday that I'm not doing thing and that I'm lazy or people are saying that I shouldn't be with the people I love, it's really hurtful. I don't know what I'm doing wrong sometimes I want to run away to a secluded place and disappear. It's like I want to sleep and never wake up because I'm happier in the dream world than in the real world. It's like I'm more successful there than here and I know that it's not real but I'm tired of being a failure. I just want everything to start going my way. I think people don't know what type of stress that I'm going through, mentally I'm fragmented, phycially I feel like my time on earth is coming to and end. And now I've been kicked out of the house for the next 2 days for what idk. Why can't it be my time why can't I be special and have everything I need I'm tired of my life now I'm ready to go home...

Trolling

The one thing that bothers me in life is trolling, I've been trolled several times now with jobs and I feel that it's high time for me to get up and away from this place. It's way too much like a black hole and there isn't a job that's in my field for me to take right now around here. I really want to pack my bags and leave today 

How long do I have to deal with bullshit...

You kno I don't ask alot from people but I would like to ask for a prayer so that I can get this job at FS Taylor and Assoiates. I really need this job, it would set me on the right path to becoming the accountant that I need to be 

Loss

.....I need help

Tears

I ask the one question that people don't know, what's wrong with me...this is a question that I have been asking my self for the last 10 years so the end of high school the beginning of college. It has become apparent that mentally something is wrong, I've killed or destroyed things that I loved or was working toward. You know I think I'm slowly slipping into madness, my mind is slowly being eroaded by me being in this area, the stagnation and filth is poison to my ever dulling mind. I need help, this is my call I just need help. I'm not happy anymore and if I am happy it is a false sense of happyness, I think I'm going back to my old ways hopeing for the worst because it won't get any better, please god help me get away from this place and into something better, away from the poison of my life...sorry I failed everyone...

Well I fucked up pretty bad now, I ruined my relationship and a friendship. I really shouldn't be anywhere right now. Over the weekend I kissed my ex and Ashley found out and it was a huge mess. I'm a horrible person.

I'm sorry, this isn't the way I wanted things to turn out. My life is in shambles right now, first thing first since I lost my good job it's been real hard to pay bills it's put a huge strain on my relationship, because of this we're drifting a part. She's already given me a deadline of June 30 to find a better paying job before she walks out of my life. I just feel like a new job isn't around the corner it's going to come when I'm at the lowest point in my life and it feels like I'm there already I have bills piling up I can't catch up to them cuz I can only afford to pay one or two of them, my GF is stressed cuz she's helping me pay my and hers bills but that's damn near putting her in the hospital. I just wish that I could go back to the past and change up the decisions that screwed up things now. I hate the job I'm at now the boss doesn't know anything, doesn't know how to talk to people and it just a gererally bad person. I just don't know what to do anymore I feel like I'm doing the right things but I'm not getting the results that I need to succed, it's like all of my friends are moving ten times faster in life than i am and I'm moving backword. I feel like I haven't really started my life and at 27 when is it going to start 

What's up everyone just poping by to say hello world. I'm quite enjoying life right now I'm waiting on a job interview but I have high hopes for this job. In the mean time I'm out I have some stuff to take care of 

-jcash 

Big changes ahead

As the title suggest, there are changes coming

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to me, I guess it's another year older and another year wiser. I hope this statement is true because last year was the most bs of all bs, for one I got a GF and it was magical I loved every minute of it. Then we got pregnant, then she had a miscarriage, then she was and still is depressed (which made me depressed) and now we are broken up. And to think this all happened in one year. Crazy. Now all I have to do is get my life back in order at least school is about to start so there will be people around to get me up and active and now working then coming home to sadness isn't good for me. 

Well I gotta say it's been quite awhile since I've posted on here almost an entire year an what a year it has been, a lot of ups and downs mostly downs. I've been trying to get myself back together but I feel like I've been fragmented for far too long to start pulling my select back together I guess it all began when my GF got pregnant and had the mischarage then from there I got laid off from UMES and now are employed in the bookstore not something that I want but I need the money so I'm sucking it up. It seems like life keeps throwing me curve balls some of which I feel are hard to excape plus this place is like a blackhole sucking things in and not letting go. I have bigger dreams and aspersions than this place and I wish I could just have the courge to get up leave and try my luck somewhere else  I'm just afraid that I would be homeless once I do that after bills that I have been paying start to pile up well I'm going to try to get back to work 

So once again ive fuck things up with people around me, sometimes i wonder what goes on through my mind because thinking isnt what i do best anymore. right now im sitting around crying over the fact that I mispoke over something that my friend asked me. First i didnt even know how to respond to that question i just