So once again ive fuck things up with people around me, sometimes i wonder what goes on through my mind because thinking isnt what i do best anymore. right now im sitting around crying over the fact that I mispoke over something that my friend asked me. First i didnt even know how to respond to that question i just

Well my birthday is coming up, and i want to go out and have some type of fun. but i'm not sure that its going to happen. well for one there's no transportation to go anywhere and that's the big issue here. I really would like to have fun this weekend but my friend that is staying with me isn't in a good mood right now. that's one thing that makes me sad, for a person that has such a strong will lets someone else control her. The other thing is that i'll never know how she feels right now but I really want to help her. sigh... its just another fun time in my life. And now she's not even talking to me, i just feel like its unfair that its so simple to fix her problem but you know I can only show people the path.

-jcash

So here we are on another Saturday trying to get work done. I can't really do anything anymore. You know from my experiences now a days it seems that every time I can't stay happy, like I can be happy for a couple of days then people just generally want to take my happiness away from me why... I'm sure no one really knows I don't even know any more. I just want my life back it's so depressing that I can't have nice things. I'm still working toward getting my license and it's just troubling because there's places I want to go and I can't cuz I dont have a car and I don't have a license. I don't have anything I'm a failure a real failure cant even get a girl im just the friend. No one wants to take a chance with me I only have work to look forward to and nothing more. I'm just tired of it...why can't I have the things that I want it like someone wants to take everything away that I try to work for its fucking awful, I feel embarrassed that I don't have a license it so fucking hard to work toward cuz there's people that pass on the first try and I'm 25 working on something that I should have gotten when I was in my teens but no one wanted to help me look for a car so I just didn't try for one and now look at me I just am a failure to launch as my friend would say. I really wonder if I could just disappear would it make a difference I'm not even sure anymore about my life. I mean the only thing that I look forward to work and that's not even fulfilling anymore. I just wish I could pack my bags leave and never have to return to this place. I'm just not even here anymore it's like I'm a shell of my self, what happen to all the fun times in life...oh yea that's right life happened. That's what ruined everything life. I guess they were right about how life isn't fair and how people love taking the easy way out. I'm tired so so tired...

Not really having a title

Hello everyone, I'm just stopping by to post a couple of updates on my life. I still have my place and my friend is staying with me, which is pretty cool. Well I do enjoy her staying with me though I'm head over heels in love with her( that's a story for another day), I really enjoy her company and she is making the move away from home a lot better. She keeps me company in the room because without her I would sit around my room and watch Netflix all night then go to bed early lol. Work is pretty fun, Im getting through it pretty quickly and the days are going by really quickly. Im not too big of a fan of that, the faster the days go by the faster people come and go from my life. I'm going to be really sad once school starts and my friend moves into her room for the semester because since she has stayed with me i've grown accustom to seeing her as soon as I get home. Its always nice to see someone that you care for sitting in your room (even though she will never be my girl) its nice just to have her presents around. Well I could talk about her all day but I cant because im at work and the mid-day oil is burning so cya for not and i'll update more later

-jcash